What Would You Do if You Were Dating?

Why would a financial advisor write about relationships—including marriage? Simple. Our mission is to help you keep more of the money you earn, grow the money you keep, and simplify your life. For starters, divorce is one of the most expensive and complicated things you’ll ever do, so if helping you stay married would be helpful to you in the long term, we care about that.

If you have been divorced, please know that this post is not intended to be hurtful, but helpful as you look to the future and enter relationships again.

Over the past two years, our family had front-row seats to the growing tension—and eventual divorce—of some close friends. It was heartbreaking to watch these good people turn against each other. I don’t know all the details of their marriage, and I’m not suggesting I would’ve handled things any better. But I did notice one thing that has stuck with me.

Months after they separated, the husband stopped by my house. I was struck by the changes:

• He was much stronger! “I’ve been going to CrossFit 5 times per week,” he told me with pride.
• His teeth were noticeably cleaner and whiter (and I’m guessing his breath fresher, although I can’t say for sure).
• His typical messy, just-rolled-out-of-bed hair was replaced by a sharp new haircut.
• He was wearing cologne.

In short, post-divorce and back in the dating world, my friend looked—and smelled—great.

It made me think: If I weren’t comfortably settled in a long-term marriage and was dating again, what would I do to improve myself?

If you’re married or in a relationship you want to keep, I suggest you ask yourself the same thing:
If you were dating, what would you start doing—or stop doing—that you’re not/are doing now?

Give yourself an honest self-assessment and write down your list. Once you have the list, what are you waiting for?